I used to think I was a people watcher.
1. the action or practice of spending time idly observing people in a public place.
“each seat has a view of the park across the street and is perfect for people watching”
The thing is, I’ve never really defined myself as a “social” creature. Don’t get me wrong, I have always liked people but not in a way which most would label as outgoing. I think as a human being you can be many things – you can be open and friendly, kind and warm – and still not really enjoy people. It’s interesting to me how most immediately correlate being an “introvert” with being a hermit who is standoffish or bashful or reserved.
Not true. Some of the most friendly people you will ever meet are introverts.
A part of me really DOES like to people watch but I’ve come to realize I’m more of a “people-connector.” I have this insatiable hunger for connection; I want to affix something about each person to my memory, even if it’s the most minute detail.
I’m rambling…Here is where this all ties in: in the past few years of my life not only have I come to terms with my “too-muchness” but I’ve grown to love it. I am passionate. I am impulsive. I am a lot. And it’s taken me a long time to both accept that fact and learn to embrace it. I am living in a generation where if a woman shows too much emotion, she’s “crazy” or “psycho.” Y’all know exactly what I mean. If we lose our temper, we’re nuts. If we cry over something randomly small (ha), we’re an emotional roller coaster. If we demand respect, we’re controlling.
If those are the terms – then, yes, I am crazy. I am psycho.
Because I FEEL and I NOTICE things and I WANT.
I wanted to start a personal project for myself but instead decided I was going to share it here on Pearl Bayou, too. You all seem to enjoy catching a glimpse of the woman chewing on a pencil over the keyboard (or stuffing a Hot Pocket down her throat) – so, I think in a way, this will be just another outlet and a way for us to all link together. I needed somewhere/someway to dump out the overload I keep pent up.
In my journal – there are tiny little notes in the margin and highlighted lines where I noticed something particular about a person that day. It might’ve been the guy standing in front of me at the gas station or the girl who fixed my coffee at the Bistro. You all would KNOW most of these people if you’re a Salisbury, Missouri citizen. I am an introvert, yes, but I love people for the exotic creatures we are. We are all so different – with our hand gestures and our eyebrow quirks. We say words differently even though we grew up two houses down from one another.
I want to call these posts: “Name Drop”s and they won’t have any rhyme or reason on frequency or topic other than –> it’ll be about someone I saw the same day. There won’t actually be any name drops, you guys. No fear. Instead – I hope maybe when you read them, you’ll think of someone in particular.
I already have the existing minor posts:
1. 60 Words or Less
3. 6 Word Story
4. Sexual Musings (Tiny bits of poetry on relationships)
(I hope you all enjoy these, by the way!)
I have some I’d like to share tonight so watch for them then as well as July’s Journal Jots.