25 | Book Whore Confessions

People who don’t like to read, won’t get it. 

The obsession you have with the infamous “book-smell.”
The adoring gazes you throw at a newly organized shelf.
The hours you can spend perusing old bookstores.
The insatiable need to carry a book in your purse everywhere you go.
The crates littering your living room floor stacked full of paperbacks.

Bibliomania is defined as: a passionate enthusiasm for collecting and possessing books.


Looking back, I can’t remember a single moment of my childhood when I didn’t love books. Leading into junior high and high school, I started to truly understand how much of the #nerdlife I was actually living. (There weren’t hashtags then, just good friends gently reminding me I was a pretty seventeen year old girl not a forty-year old crazy cat lady.) I preferred my Ann Rinaldi historical fiction/romances to most parties. My first true love was Rhett Butler, not the quarterback of the football team. When one of the teachers would declare it a “reading hour” I usually emitted a tiny squeak of excitement much like a squirrel who’s just found a nut, instead of the typical bored groan. 

You catch my drift.

Recently (a month ago) I turned 25. For those of you who follow this page, you know I’m a journal junkie. I try desperately to record at least one thing a day – one small snippet of conversation or a quote I’ve found or a list of my random thoughts. In that, I’ve become slightly addicted to the number “twenty-five” itself and proclaimed 2016 the Year-of-the-25. For example: I named off 25 things I enjoyed about my birthday, 25 ways I found joy in a day, 25 places I want to see before I’m too old to travel, etc. 

I also sat down and wrote 25 reasons that have shown me I have a book problem. (I don’t think of it as an actual problem in the way neither clown figurine collectors or people with a foot fetish do.) I want to share those 25 reasons today for (2) adjoining reasons: A. I use my journal as self-healing/reflection tool. While I don’t see any current issue with the “way I am” jotting things down on paper helps me realize the potential damage I might be causing to my future self. B. In hopes other book whores will understand they’re not alone. Book whores anonymous…only, not so anonymous.

While some of this, yes, is humorous other parts are not so much. Laugh at my pain if you wish but here are:

25 Confessions of a Book Whore

  1. I have cried over more book boyfriends than real boyfriends.
  2. “Book hangover” is real and I took a sick day off work once because of it.
  3. On the average, I spend more money a month on books than I do food.
  4. I have laughed out loud in public while reading a book – and I don’t mean a giggle, I mean that snorty laugh I do where people become concerned I’m hyperventilating. 
  5. When a character has an accent, I jump on Youtube so I can hear it correctly. (Scottish, British, Australian, South African…seriously. It helps a ton.)
  6. I hate any and all things Jane Austen. (I’m a snob, I know.)
  7. If I am close to finishing a book, I will bring a second one with me in the car/in my purse just in case. 
  8. I do not loan books. If, by some chance I do, then you are a very special person to me. I have a real fear of letting go- this is no lie. I can think of TWO whole people I’ve trusted to take home my books.
  9. Trilogies/series really screw with me but I’m addicted to them. By the time the newest installment usually comes out, I have to go back and re-read the books before so I can remember what’s going on.
  10. I read 50 Shades of Grey. I also burnt it. Literally. In the wood stove. The house smelled like a terrible plot and shitty one liners for hours. 
  11. I didn’t have any bookish friends until I hit my twenties.
  12. One of my favorite quotes is:

    “We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them. Don’t let them explore you until they’ve explored the secret universes of books. Don’t let them connect with you until they’ve walked between the lines on the pages.” John Waters

  13. I moved into the house I live in currently 2 years ago – I have not turned on the t.v. once. I ain’t even playin’ right meow. The only time I watch anything, I watch Netflix on my laptop and that’s very, VERY rare. I read and write when I’m at home.
  14. Don’t ever ask me what I’m reading unless you want to hear a very thorough description. 
  15. Fairy tales are still my favorite.
  16. When I read Mockingjay, I curled up into a ball on the couch and didn’t speak to anyone for an hour.
  17. There isn’t a room in my house that doesn’t have a bookshelf.
  18. I do not personally like Nicholas Sparks’ novels. However, I admire the fact he’s perfected his craft. Made a mold and used it. Over. And over. And over.
  19. I went through (and moved on from) my angel phase, my vampire phase (even the sparkly ones), my werewolf phase, my fairy phase, my motorcycle club phase, my BDSM phase…but I will never – I repeat NEVER – get over my Jamie Fraser phase.
  20. I got in trouble more when I was living at home for reading after Mom told me to go to bed than I did breaking curfew.
  21. I get anxious in Barnes and Noble – sweaty hands, jumpy pulse, too-much-stimulus-kinda anxious. It takes me awhile to finally relax. 
  22. I can not NOT finish a book. Once I start, I have to see it all the way through. I hate that about myself.
  23. I’m a Ravenclaw.
  24. Libraries are my equivalent to some people’s deep tissue massages or a bottle of wine. I relax in a library and I walk out feeling refreshed and invigorated.
  25. There is a box in my hallway @ home. In red Sharpie across the front it says: “BOX OF BIBLIOGRAPHIC BULLSHIT” — do not ever ask me why I have this box. I’ll start foaming at the mouth and spewing random rants about whiny female leads, Dialogue-for-Dummies, and how that “one was just a tree committing suicide.” 

I firmly believe book whores are the best people. I know not everyone can understand us and that’s okay. The funny thing is, if you ever fall in love with one of us – we’ll love you in a way you’ve never experienced. Why? Because in books we’ve felt what it’s like to lose someone we love to cancer, stand there and watch someone we love walk away, experienced love at first sight in a tiny, crowded bar – I mean, laugh all you want but I’m serious. There’s something about holding a book in your hands that will never compare to watching it on screen. If done right, you experience a thousand lives. A thousand emotions. A thousand relationships. You learn what you like and dislike about yourself. You learn what you like and dislike in others. You suffer disappointment. You rejoice in reunions. You gain knowledge of places on Earth you may never see with your own eyes. You witness the up and down roller coaster of children when you’ve never given birth. You get goosebumps from harsh or gentle words on paper that feel so real.

Book whores are the deepest feelers, in my opinion.

I won’t get started on that topic though – it’ll just lead me to another 25 things…

Love,
Brianna & Hagan

 

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