Journal Jots {April ’16}

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April of 2016 sure as hell beat out March of 2016, I’ll give it that. What a great month full of reminders that I am blessed beyond belief and surrounded by love. I have always enjoyed Spring (Fall is my favorite but Spring takes silver) – I love watching everything green up and how the air is pitched with the smell of wet dirt and lilac. You can’t drive five miles without running into a tractor/spray rig. Flowers start overflowing pots on porches and you see families stopping at the bait shop before heading off to hit their “secret fishing hole.” I have always felt like April holds a little magic.

Here’s some of my random jots for the month:

April 2, 2016 – “You deserve to give yourself the same love that you give to everyone else.” Tyler Kent White

April 11, 2016 – Had some one on one time with Emm – I laid on the porch while he hit some golf balls into the wetlands. Sweet breeze off the water and fresh cut grass in the air. He let the girl dogs out and they took off like little furry black and white rockets. I get so tickled watching this big man handle those little dogs – he had to grab Oddie and pack her back to the house when I left so she wouldn’t chase me. I’ve never seen a sadder beagle face in my life. 

“Is it possible to feel so much, that you never really know what kind of human you are? If you are filled with monsters or love or pain or chaos? I do not really know what to make of who I am, but I am waiting, nearly bursting, for someone who can.”
-Christopher Poindexter

April 20, 2016 – What a beautiful birthday. I have always liked the number “25”  — I think when I was younger I thought I’d really have my shit together by now. In high school, I would’ve said I’d be married. House. The works. I don’t know – the way things are now actually suits me. It’s not fair to base a number off a scale of “where you should be in life.” Here’s to another 365 days.  

April 25, 2016 – Trying to work on not letting customers make me feel down on myself. Money turns people into their worst self. I tell myself to just do my job and go home. Hagan kisses are waiting.

“Anybody with artistic ambitions is always trying to reconnect with the way they saw things as a child.” –Tim Burton

April 26, 2016 – I hate finishing a book I dislike. Why don’t I ever just give it up and toss it in the Bullshit Box when I’m 50 pages deep? I try to tell myself there’s no such thing as a “bad writer” – just writers that I don’t like. That one though? Nah. She was just a bad writer.

“If you see something beautiful in someone, speak it.” -Ruthie Lindsey

April 29, 2016 – Cereal for supper. Living that #brokelife.

April 29, 2016 – I can always count on Mom. Always.

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